Could have won. Had a Bad Misfire - Unisex classic tee

It's the most reliable excuse in motorsport precisely because it's the least reliable fault. Plugs, leads, coil pack, fuel pressure, a damp patch, gremlins. Pick one. Say it with a slow shake of the head and a hand on the rocker cover, and the grid will nod along, because every single one of them has used it too.

There's a certain small, hamster-sized floppy-haired television presenter who built an entire career on this one.